20 Things Every Maltese Knows To Be True

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1. There is no lunch better than a couple of slices of Maltese bread with good olive oil, tomatoes, salt and pepper, and an ice-cold Cisk to wash it down.

2. If you leave Malta to live abroad, you will eventually end up with a group of friends which unfailingly includes a number of Maltese.

3. Similarly, if you have left Malta and look forward to a holiday back home, you will return to find many of your friends no longer live there either.

4. A true friend brings you a supply of Twistees, galletti and gbejniet when they visit. Bonus friend points if they also manage to squeeze a couple of bottles of Kinnie into their suitcase.

5. You will never admit it, but you secretly look forward to the Eurovision and even feel an inexplicable surge of pride when the Maltese singer takes to the stage.

6. There is no better way to end a long night out than stopping for a breakfast of pastizzi in Rabat.

7. There is no such thing as the six degrees of separation in Malta. Even in extreme cases, it’s three at most.

8. You still remember all the words to most of the hymns you were made to sing in school.

9. Driving around the island alone at night when the streets are empty is relaxing and wonderful. Driving around the island at any other time of day will turn even the most mild-mannered of us into a ferocious insult-monger.

10. Nothing is quite so symbolic of summer in Malta as the blanket of stifling heat you experience when you land at Luqa Airport and step off the plane.

11. Family meals last at least 4 hours, feature at least 10 people, and include at least one older person asking whether you’ve any plans to pop a baby or two out anytime soon.

12. You are not patriotic… until a book, movie or TV show mentions Malta. Suddenly, you’re the proudest Maltese ever.

13. A foreigner has joked that you are “a Malteaser… like the chocolate!” and thought they were being hilarious and original. They were not.

14. Even if you never speak Maltese at home, it turns into a super handy top secret language when you are abroad with friends.

15. If you are in London and desperately need to bump into somebody Maltese, just stop by Primark by Marble Arch.

16. You will always pretend you are not Maltese when you bump into Maltese people at Primark by Marble Arch.

17. You have a substantial amount of family in Australia, Canada, the US or the UK. You have never met any of them, but many of them still try to add you on Facebook.

18. You miss the guy who used to come around door to door selling fresh Maltese bread when you were a child. Most of all, you miss buying the bread and stuffing your face with it while it was still warm.

19. The best thing about festi are those mini doughnuts.

20. “I am from Malta.” “Is that in Italy?”

29 Comments
  • Hannah
    April 29, 2014

    Ha! Too right :)

  • Sarah
    April 29, 2014

    Hahahahah so true!!!

  • Rebecca
    April 29, 2014

    Omg soooooo true hahaha

  • Clare @ theprettywalrus
    April 29, 2014

    Fan-bloody-tastic! :D I can only disagree with #2, but the rest…. esp #15 & 16 had me in fits. SO true! x

  • Andrew
    April 29, 2014

    Really true… and i do secretly really like the Eurovision… back on the 9th and its on the 10th – SCOREEEE… :)

  • Ryan
    April 29, 2014

    Spot on :)

  • kurt
    April 29, 2014

    don’t forget the bigilla, the sweets hawker, the scorching summer at the beach, the bbqs, the majjalati and the funny, desperate ways some people try to speak english with foreigners in order to communicate with them. An aspect some consider to be pathetic but in my opinion its the Maltese’s urge to be friendly and socialise with foreigners.

  • Louise
    April 29, 2014

    This is so funny and I howled with laughter, but you forgot a few. When everyone gets married they live within a loud shout of their parents, but still drive to go back for Sunday lunch. Everyone has a dining table that extends to 24 people. Everyone can do plumbing, electrics and car maintenance, or has a brother or uncle who can.
    You’ve made me homesick. Love it

  • Loredana
    April 29, 2014

    How very true. All of it :)

  • Cheryl
    April 29, 2014

    Soooo true haha maybe not #2 so much but I remember once walking through the Strand once and this couple ahead of me just LOOKED Maltese.. remember turning around to my mum ‘they’re Maltese.. ‘ we walked past ‘MAA kemm hawn nies madoff diga ghajjejt’ haha made me smile and cringe at the same time :)

  • Deirdre Farrugia
    April 29, 2014

    Hilarious! and oh so true! Each and every one of them lol :)

  • Martina
    April 30, 2014

    #20: agreed! but it’s always better to be told that Malta is part of Italy than to be told “Do you BELONG to Spain/Greece?”….at least the version involving Italy is logical from a geographical perspective (and being “part of” another country is slightly less demeaning than “belonging to” another country)
    …but then you also meet people who know a real lot about our small country and it simply makes your day :)

  • Denise
    April 30, 2014

    For 20. “I am from Malta” “Is that in Italy?”

    More like, “WHAT is Malta?” *FacePalm*

  • Deb
    April 30, 2014

    I was born in Malta, Went to school there and have great fond memories. My parents moved to Australia when I was still quite young. I am now married and when Nanna & Nannu visit, yes my kids love all the goodies, like Kinnie and pastizzi. my husband enjoys the galletti and ġbejniet!!
    As for the twisties they are still my all time favourite and funnily the only thing I craved for when pregnant!

    • Audrey
      May 1, 2014

      Haha!!! Me toooo! My lovely pastizzi!! I bought a few dozen in fact online and indulged from time to time with my 7 year old who keeps scolding me for leaving Malta on a regular basis!!!

  • CJohn Zammit
    April 30, 2014

    Loved it!

    Would have been a perfect write-up if #10 weren’t out-of-date …
    MIA is no longer at Luqa; MIA is, now, at Gudja!
    (My home town.)

    • Josephine
      April 30, 2014

      MIA might be in Gudja, but it is still known as Luqa airport. Hard luck mate.

  • Mario
    April 30, 2014

    It is so true but it so happens that it does not matter what nationality one is, everyone feels the same way about his country except maybe the part about the driving during the day

  • Anna
    April 30, 2014

    I was born in Malta and so proud of it, love Australia my children and husband born here and they jokingly make fun of that little dot on the map of the world wherenI come from

    • Anna
      April 30, 2014

      But that little place is beautiful, the churches around every corner, the little laneways, the clear blue water, the church bells, and what I remember at the festi is eating imqaret yum!!
      Love it, thanks for the memories ♡♡♡♡♡

  • Yvette Grima
    April 30, 2014

    Some of them are true – some are stereotypes especially nr.5 – me and many people in Malta absolutely hate the Eurovision. There is also the thing that we get absolutely mad at foreigners who think they are cool just cause they say ‘mela’ once too often thinking they are cool lol :)

  • Paul Caruana
    May 1, 2014

    Meh … so not true most of the above nowadays and the idea is so boring. Copied from other sources -_-‘.

    • Sarah
      May 1, 2014

      Not so boring that you took the time to read and comment though, eh Paul?!

  • edward
    May 1, 2014

    BINGO!!!

  • mary
    May 1, 2014

    All so very true love it and I am Maltese and proud of it

  • Carmen Dykes
    May 1, 2014

    I could add a few more. I left Malta in 1974, and return every year. That was a promise I made to my Dad (RIP) when I left Malta to come to England,with my husband and a 2 year old daughter.

  • carmen
    May 4, 2014

    how true brilliant..i should know im maltese…inhob hafna lil malta….MEANS I LOVE MALTA
    i lived in uk for 41 years..but im maltese first and formost..

  • Shiela
    May 28, 2014

    You hit it on the nail, But # 2. You forgot ritzy ?, and fish soup . I live in Arizona USA Been here 47 year, was born in UK was raised in Malta and I still Refrain to Malta as HOME, I do miss it so much
    I still Remember same Maltese word Like Inhobok and I don’t think I should share the others.

  • J.BUHAGIAR
    June 3, 2014

    JIEN MALTI NIBQA SAL-MEWT.IT TIFEL TIEGHI TWIELED IL-CANADA U MALTI JITKELLEM U JIFMU.

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