1. There is no lunch better than a couple of slices of Maltese bread with good olive oil, tomatoes, salt and pepper, and an ice-cold Cisk to wash it down.
2. If you leave Malta to live abroad, you will eventually end up with a group of friends which unfailingly includes a number of Maltese.
3. Similarly, if you have left Malta and look forward to a holiday back home, you will return to find many of your friends no longer live there either.
4. A true friend brings you a supply of Twistees, galletti and gbejniet when they visit. Bonus friend points if they also manage to squeeze a couple of bottles of Kinnie into their suitcase.
5. You will never admit it, but you secretly look forward to the Eurovision and even feel an inexplicable surge of pride when the Maltese singer takes to the stage.
6. There is no better way to end a long night out than stopping for a breakfast of pastizzi in Rabat.
7. There is no such thing as the six degrees of separation in Malta. Even in extreme cases, it’s three at most.
8. You still remember all the words to most of the hymns you were made to sing in school.
9. Driving around the island alone at night when the streets are empty is relaxing and wonderful. Driving around the island at any other time of day will turn even the most mild-mannered of us into a ferocious insult-monger.
10. Nothing is quite so symbolic of summer in Malta as the blanket of stifling heat you experience when you land at Luqa Airport and step off the plane.
11. Family meals last at least 4 hours, feature at least 10 people, and include at least one older person asking whether you’ve any plans to pop a baby or two out anytime soon.
12. You are not patriotic… until a book, movie or TV show mentions Malta. Suddenly, you’re the proudest Maltese ever.
13. A foreigner has joked that you are “a Malteaser… like the chocolate!” and thought they were being hilarious and original. They were not.
14. Even if you never speak Maltese at home, it turns into a super handy top secret language when you are abroad with friends.
15. If you are in London and desperately need to bump into somebody Maltese, just stop by Primark by Marble Arch.
16. You will always pretend you are not Maltese when you bump into Maltese people at Primark by Marble Arch.
17. You have a substantial amount of family in Australia, Canada, the US or the UK. You have never met any of them, but many of them still try to add you on Facebook.
18. You miss the guy who used to come around door to door selling fresh Maltese bread when you were a child. Most of all, you miss buying the bread and stuffing your face with it while it was still warm.
19. The best thing about festi are those mini doughnuts.
20. “I am from Malta.” “Is that in Italy?”