Quarter-Life

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So, last Monday I turned 25. That happened. I am now a quarter of a century old.

And I know this by no means makes me ‘old’ old, but it makes me older. It makes me fall into the category of ‘adult’. Real adult. And a few things bear evidence to this – namely: I pay rent, I do my own chores, I cook my own dinner, I live in another country, I am looking for a job.

When I was 16, I recall thinking, “Gosh! 25! I’ll be old. I hope I’m engaged by then. Or at least with the man I’ll marry.”

Dear 16-year-old Davinia,
Lol.
Love,
25-year-old Davinia.

Truth is, I’m at a stage in my life where I’m still quite happy to -learn- things. Sure, I’ve achieved a fair amount of stuff during my time on this planet so far, but there’s so much more to do. I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing. And I’m not the only one who thinks this way. So many of my friends are still trying to figure out exactly what their calling is. And that’s okay – we get by. We see things and try things and figure out what suits us.

And then somebody I went to school with goes and gets married and posts photos on Facebook and I have a little meltdown. Oh damn damn damn, I start to think. That’s another one settled down. And me floating around. Should I just move back to Malta and embrace a life of marriage and kids? Pressure pressure pressure.

But then I stop being silly and I think – of course not. I need to be true to myself and that (at least for the moment) does not involve settling down. Whoever made marriage and kids the final destination for women, anyway? Why should people look at me sympathetically when I say I’m single? I’m grand with being single. Having a great time of it, actually.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is: just walk your own path. Don’t let things like numbers become markers or milestones for you. Let your experiences do that instead.

4 Comments on Quarter-Life

  1. Katrina
    June 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm (329 days ago)

    you are right- numbers don’t matter. i can’t blame you feeling like that. everybody do panic a little as we grow up. lovely thought out post xo

    The Young Bridget Jones

    Reply
  2. Mel Hart
    June 24, 2012 at 8:39 am (328 days ago)

    Woohoo Happy birthday!

    Well said on walking your own path. Dead feminists who battled so hard for equality must be turning in their graves when any 21st century woman doubts herself about following her own path. Marraige and kids may be some woman’s dream, but not everyone’s.

    Reply
  3. Sarah
    June 24, 2012 at 9:58 pm (328 days ago)

    Ugh, 25 is far too young to be getting married. I would always advocate seeing and doing things before you settle down. And who says marriage and kids is the be-all and end-all anyway?

    Reply
  4. Miriam
    June 26, 2012 at 11:42 am (326 days ago)

    I laugh at my younger self every year. And I get that panic attack often (obviously it tends to get worse as every year passes) but I remind myself that I have different dreams to other people, that this is MY life and that ‘settling’ will happen in my own time, not dictated by my age, if ever. And that doesn’t have to mean marriage, a steady job etc
    Sure there are pressures – some real e.g. not getting too old to have children – and others which are just an influence of society in general – so it depends a lot on your priorities. However, every year it becomes more and more apparent to me that planning is a completely useless exercise. So enjoy now like you’re doing and appreciate the lessons you learn and will keep learning for as long as you live.

    Reply

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