Right now, as you read this, I am probably 35,000 feet in the air, doing breathing exercises to curb my fear of flying, and having a panic attack about whether or not I’m doing the right thing.
For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of this day; of setting off to live in a new place with new people. While other girls were planning their weddings and cutting out pictures of wedding dresses, I was reading all about and cutting out pictures of the different countries I could live in.
I dream of making the whole world my neighbourhood; of exploring it and loving it all.
So yes, I am doing the right thing.
But it is only natural that I am nervous. I am a whole cocktail of emotions. Fear is right there where the grenadine should be, but I am mostly excited and joyful.
I am also somewhat sad, because sacrifices have to be made when you follow your dreams. Leaving the people I love behind is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But I am blessed that they love me enough to let me go.
I am excited about being a student again. I didn’t do my Masters degree as soon as I graduated and so many people told me I was silly and that once I entered the working world I would never study again. But I am glad it happened this way. If I had not worked for two years, I would not have the experience I do now and I would not know what I wanted. This new knowledge I’ll be getting – I can contextualise it now that I know what I know.
I am so looking forward to learning all about things which will make me an even more valuable professional, and which will give me the opportunity to channel my creativity.
I know this year will be over in the blink of an eye. Twenty-four years of hope and anticipation leading to one single year. That’s why I intend to milk this year for all it’s worth. I am going to sit for ten minutes every evening and meditate on just how lucky I am to be here and to have come this far. I am going to say only ‘yes’ to any new opportunity that presents itself. More than anything, I am going to make my camera a part of me. It will be more than a machine; it will be an appendage. And you guys get to share that experience with me, here, through my blog.
It’s going to be a great year.
But for now, I have some deep breaths to get back to.