So you’re moving in together? Congratulations! It’s a great big step in your relationship and you are going to love it. Mostly.

The first two weeks are going to be crazy, but in the best way possible. You’ll have boxes everywhere. You’re eating noodles and instant soups because, until your kitchen is done up, you only have a kettle to do your cooking with. You’re hauling furniture and you’re hot and sweaty and all tired out and it is brilliant because the two of you are working for the same common aim. And, oh, that first evening when everything is in its place and you can make a gorgeous plate of pasta, and you settle down in your new bed on your new sheets together for the first time, knowing you did all this together? It’s wonderful. It’s the best evening you’ve ever had.

But then what? Then begins the vast expanse of cohabitation (married couples, I’m looking at you too) which, let’s face it, is not easy. You’re used to having your own space and suddenly it’s being invaded by this other person and all their stuff and all their energy. And there are going to be times, quite a few of them, when you want nothing more than to shrink that other person down to Barbie doll size and bite their head clean off.

So how do you avoid that?

Talk things through
Alright, so drawing up a room mate agreement, Sheldon Cooper style, is a bit crazy. But take that idea down a notch and you’re on to a winner. Before you actually move in together, discuss possible scenarios and agree on how to handle them. Who’s going to do which chores? How are you going to split bills? What happens if you break up? It might seem like you’re taking the magic and spontaneity out of life by planning it in advance, but being able to talk about real possibilities while your brain isn’t clouded by emotions is a real blessing. That way, when you come to a brick wall, you’ll know exactly what to do.

Spend time together
As strange as it sounds, it’s going to seem like you’re spending less time together now that you’re living in the same house than when you lived apart. Before, though, you’d meet a couple of times a week for an hour or two or three and that time was all about the both of you. If you don’t make the effort, it will feel like you now have zero quality time together. The best thing to do is set some time aside for you to communicate and reconnect, and do things you enjoy together. Plan out a date night once a week, or set an hour aside every evening, for you to dedicate to each other. You can go out for dinner, watch your favourite TV show together, or just sit and talk for a while.

Retain some mystery
Just because you live together doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to be holding farting competitions (unless that’s your thing. In which case, fart away!) Keep your alone time secrets to yourself. Close the door when you go to the toilet, refrain from being a pig at the dinner table, be polite (but not informal) with each other. Make the effort to please each other the way you did when you were still dating.

You time is important
Find time and space to be completely alone. Go to a different room or head down to the park or your favourite coffee shop. Take the time to clear your head and to deal with issues that concern only you. Just because you’re living together doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment together. Oh and meet your friends. A lot. You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to fall into the routine of staying in and watching TV every night. Don’t do it.

Don’t go to bed angry
Yes, it’s a cliche. But it’s a cliche for a reason. If you’re having an argument, try to resolve it by bedtime. If you really can’t do that, don’t sleep in the same bed. It sounds harsh, but sleeping next to another person means you trust them to be next to you in your most vulnerable state. That can’t work if you’re fighting. Don’t believe me? Try it. You won’t be able to fall asleep.

Tone it down
Learn to identify and separate the little issues from the big ones. If you hate the way he throws all the cutlery into the drawer without sorting it out, talk about it but there is no need for a screaming match. If you’re screaming about cutlery or laundry there’s obviously a bigger issue to tackle. Deal with it before it’s blown way out of proportion.

Always remember you’re on the same side and remember why you moved in together in the first place. If you can settle into a pattern that works for both of you, living together can be really amazing and you’ll wonder how you ever managed to live without that person. Good luck!